I don’t have a clue what to write. Honestly. I’ve pulled up the “Post” page a half dozen times now, and I can’t think of a single thing to write about. I’d post photos, but I’ve also stopped taking photos for the most part.
Every time I have a thought for a blog post, I can think of more reasons to not post it than reasons to post it. It’s either revealing too much, or too dull, or I can’t quite get my thoughts together around what I’m trying to say.
Lately, my dealings on the internet are all about pinning new recipes, Tweeting with friends, or posting cat pictures to Instagram. Facebook has mostly lost its allure, as it’s a big part of my job now, and blogging clearly doesn’t seem to fit like it used to.
Blogging used to be something that allowed me to work out thoughts and feeling that were in my head. I didn’t have the ability to get them from my head and out of my mouth. But, I’ve realized now that I have the people in my life that I’ve needed, and they’re always willing to hear me out. I’ve gotten better at vocalizing instead of internalizing, and that’s taken away a lot of why I blog.
In that vein, something I have been feeling more of lately is anxiety. I thought that my anxiety issues were largely resolved when I made the switch to gluten-free living (oddly enough, most of the issues I’ve noticed with my gluten intolerance were mental, as opposed to physical). However, I think the new job and the stress of the life changes over the last few months (quit old job, start new job, Thomas back in school, new car which equals more debt…) a lot of that is creeping back into my life.
I hate the idea of going back into the anxiety-ridden hole I’d dug myself out of last time, but I’m glad I can at least recognize what’s going on and take steps on dealing with it. Again, having been in Calgary for more than a year now, I know who my people are here. It’s much easier to call or text a friend to come over and chat it out with me than it was before.
The rest of the weekend will be spent cleaning the house, relaxing, and tonight I’m going to a family friend’s house (Thomas’ best friend’s parents’ house. We’re really close with the whole family!) for an early Thanksgiving dinner, since they’ll be out of town for the real Thanksgiving in October. The last few weekends have been pretty low-key affairs, and until I can get myself sorted out with everything else I have no problem with that!